Well today was one of them days you know? the ones were nothing seems to make sense and everything i sso dam stressfull that no matter what anyone says or does it makes no difference. huh sad eh!!

For years i kept journals day to journals of my feelings as i always found it extremely hard to express myself without getting to frustrated, But a very wise english teacher told me to always write it down rather than store it away for a later date when it can bite you in the butt. Thankyou Sir for helping me beat through some hard years.

However i found myself wrapped up in a self absorbed course of self pity..tut tut i should bloody know better than anyone thats not a road that will lead me to happiness !! FOOL.

But today i lost all ability to read or to write down exactly what i wanted to say and how i felt and it was slowly dragging me down. You see lately ive been feeling like im a shell of the person whom i used to be. I used to love life enjoy and embrss it but now that all seems so lost to meand i dont know how or where to begin to get myself back huh!! Were to start? my surroundings well there confusing enough for me to try and ignore them. My kids…NO CONTEST I LOVE them unconditionally.

So finally i think i came to the conclusion that ive became a hermit who’s lonely yeah sad right.lol but ive thought hard about this and i just want to be loved i want to be wanted to be made to feel special,  appreciated, and swept off my feet….. well i guess my day of feeling sorry for myself has slowely come to an end and i do realise that in the land of real what i want and what i get are to different things.

So there you go nics five mins of self pity over and hoefully we will have a new day with a better out look tomoz. x

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